Another Season Of Baseball

Every year in the spring, my son, Jackson, plays baseball.  The first couple of seasons were pretty rough.  Jackson could hit the ball off a tee, but he rarely hit the coach’s pitch.  With some practice, eventually Jackson could hit the coach’s pitch, but he was a single base hitter.  You would never expect him to hit a home run.  Jackson was pretty similar to me when I played when I was younger.

10 Year Old Me

I was slightly older than Jackson is now, but in 4th in 5th grade, I played baseball as well.  With the name, Tony Oliva, it was always hoped that i would grow into my name.  I liked baseball and collected lots of baseball cards, but I wasn’t the greatest player.

I was put out in right field for most of the time.  Every once in a while I got to pitch, which was exciting, because I got to finally be a part of the team.  I wasn’t a strong hitter, so my coach made me bunt.  I was quick, so I always got on base, but he never took a risk on me swinging.  It was always safer to just let me bunt and then run the bags.

Eventually I got tired of bunting and standing in right field, so I asked my mom if I could quit the team.  She called the coach and said I wouldn’t be back.  For me, it wasn’t worth the risk of another game in the outfield twiddling my thumbs.

First Game, First Loss

Jackson’s team this year was the Rockies and they would open the season against the Astros.  The Astros were a solid squad of boys with quite a few ringers who could hit the ball hard.  Immediately I knew this was going to be tough.  I just didn’t know if it was going to be a tough game, or if it would be a tough season.

The game went on and Jackson made a running mistake and got out.  He didn’t take it very well and threw his helmet to the ground.  He was angry.

His team ended up losing the game pretty bad and Jackson took the loss hard.  While the other kids were having fun, he threw his stuff around.  He left the dugout and yelled at his mom, “I told you I didn’t want to play baseball!  I wanted to play soccer!”

Jackson’s mom was standing there with me and said, “Jackson, that’s not what we discussed and you decided you wanted to play baseball.”  She was right, but he didn’t want to hear any of it.  He was angry.

The Son I Didn’t Know

I’ve seen Jackson upset before, but this was different.  His mother had talked to me about his anger issues, but I never saw it.  I never saw it, that is, until now.  We decided that Jackson should go and see a counselor about his anger.  It was so out of character for him, but going through a divorce is tough on kids.

Feelings are the easiest part of it all, but they happen naturally.  Understanding where those feelings come from?  Sometimes that’s just too much emotional maturity for an 8 year old, especially with the complexities of divorce.  Especially with the complexities after the divorce.

The Marriage Ball Game

We are the problem, us adults.  We sully the innocence of childhood far to frequently and easily.  When we were together, we had our issues.  I know I certainly had my issues.  At some point, the issues just seem to large that you decide it’s just not worth the risk anymore.

To make a baseball analogy, we just got tired of getting called out.  We would swing and miss, or maybe get a hit and round the bases only to be thrown out and now we have to start all over, never scoring a run.  We definitely weren’t hitting any home runs anymore.  After a while we decided that we weren’t going to step up to the plate anymore and eventually we just called the marriage ball game over.

The Parenting Ball Game

The game is different now, because we still have to play the parenting ball game.  I know my baseball analogies are going to break down at this point, because there are more players and more teams, and more rules.  Just go with me for a second.

The parenting ball game has been a little rough.  The relationship between Jackson’s two families, mine and his mom’s, has not been the greatest.  Just when it seems that we are getting somewhere, rounding the bases, one of us gets thrown out.  The tension rises, we argue with the umpires, and go to opposing dugouts, even though we should be on the same team.  It’s risky every time you step to the plate, because you just might get out again.

This is where we were at.  Opposing dugouts, threatening to call in the umpires, and not wanting to step to the plate.

Playoffs

Fortunately, Jackson’s team doesn’t much care about our off field issues.  His baseball season turned around the very next game.  His team started winning, and winning and winning.  There were some really close games.  Games that nearly gave the parents heart attacks.  However, we survived the heart conditions, and Jackson’s team survived to make it to the playoffs.

The Rockies would be playing the Diamond Backs.  We had narrowly beaten them the last game we played them, so we knew this would be a tough team.  It was a rough start, but now Jackson was up to bat.

2 outs in the bottom of the third inning and Jackson steps to the plate.  *Ping!*  As sure as the sun rises in the east, Jackson hits a single.  Maybe this is the start of something.  The Rockies need the bats to start working if they want to win this game.  *PIng*  The next boy hits a single and Jackson advances to second base.  We need these runs badly if we are going to stay in this game.  *Ping*, the ball goes past the second basemen, Jackson runs to third.  The ball is fielded by the right fielder and Jackson’s third base coach waves his arms, sending Jackson home.  Here comes the throw, it’s going to be a close one, the catcher catches it, Jackson slides as the tag comes down.

OUT!

Dejected, Jackson lays his head back on the dirt, dust still swirling around his cleats.  When the team is counting on you, and your coach takes a risk on you, only to let them all down.  It’s crushing.  I try to give out encouragement from the stands.  “It’s ok Jackson.”  I could tell though, it wasn’t OK.

I forgot to mention, his stepdad is his third base coach.  He’s the one that had to make the call to play it safe or to take a risk.

The next inning, nothing seemed to work in the field and the Diamondbacks scored another 5 runs.  The game wasn’t over, but it sure felt that way.  The entire team hung their heads low as they walked back to the dugout.

The Speech

“Every one sit down.”  The head coach said calmly, but firmly.  The boys listened but kept their heads low.  “You boys play worse when you don’t keep your heads up.”  The boys looked up.  “You boys are good players and we are still in this.  This isn’t over, but you need to get your heads up and just do what you know to do.”  Something is moving among the boys.

“Get one hit, make one play.  One hit, one play.  Do you remember that game we won on the very last play?  Do you remember the next game we won, again, on the very last play?  We didn’t get down, we made one hit at a time and one play at a time.”  The boys exclaimed, “Yeah!”  “Let’s get our heads up and have some fun.”  “Yeah!”

“Now who is going to get single?”  All the boys hands are in the air.  “Who is going to get a double?”  All the boys hands shoot into the air again.  “Who is going to get a triple?”  Still up!  “Who is going to hit a home run?”  “Me!”  yell all of the boys.  All of the boys, except one.  Jackson has only hit singles, and occasionally a double, and one time he hit a triple, but that was only because of lots of errors.  Jackson has never hit a home run, ever, so he kept his hand down.

Everyone needs a good coach in their lives.  3 Relationships For Lasting Personal Growth (+1 To Pass It On)

Rally Caps

The boys are fired up and they have their rally caps on.  Jackson is starting the inning on deck.  His teammate swings at the first pitch and pops it up.  Out.  Oh boy, here we go again.  Now it’s Jackson’s turn to bat.

Jackson steps to the plate and checks his swing.  Here’s the pitch.  Whiff, he misses.  I’m whispering under my breath, “Come on bud, come on bud, get a hit”

Here’s the pitch. Whiff, the pitch was low.  The coach walks up to Jackson to settle his nerves and walks back to the mound.

Here’s the pitch.  ***PING*** The ball rips down the first base line.  Jackson drops his bat and takes off running.  He rounds first base, the ball is going to the fence.  The right fielder grabs the ball, Jackson is rounding second.  The right fielder hits his cut off man, as Jackson approaches third…

Is It Worth The Risk?

At this point, his stepdad has to make a decision.  Stop Jackson at third base and secure a triple for his team.  A triple is a great hit!  A triple would be great for his team, especially after such poor hitting in the previous innings.  OR, he can take a risk.  The risk is this, send Jackson home and risk him getting out again at home plate, and crushing him completely.  If he sends him home, he puts the weight of the team on Jackson’s shoulders.

In the stands, I jump to my feet.  “Send Him!  Send Him! Send Him!”  I yell.   And in my heart, “Take a risk!”

Time stood still for a brief moment.

His stepdad’s arm waves!  He’s sending him home!

Jackson hit the bag in stride and sprints home.  “GO! GO! GO!”

The cut off man throws it to home plate.  “GO JACKSON!  RUN!”

It’s going to be close.  The catcher get the ball and starts to swing his glove down.

It’s going to be very close.

“SLIDE!”

thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump

My heart is beating out of my chest.

HE’S SAFE!

HOME RUN!

The crowd goes wild!  Jackson just hit his first ever home run!  I rushed down from the stands to the fence.  Elated, I give my son a giant high five and tell him how proud I am of him.  I can’t help but shed giant tears of joy.  THIS is how the very best of baseball should feel.

His team rallied, made some hits and then went out into the field and made some plays, and they went on to win the game.

After The Game

I told you that things were not good between his mom, stepdad, and my wife and me.  We were barely on speaking terms and all but ignored each other at the game.  I’ve been hurt so many times and had taken chances before only to have my good will crushed before it ever made it to home plate.  I was on the verge of quitting, but I decided that for Jackson, if there was a chance our two families could hit a home run in parenting, I would step up to the plate and take another risk.

I stepped up to his step dad and said, “Thank you for taking a risk on Jackson.  You didn’t have to, but YOU provided Jackson with this moment.  You gave him a chance at his home run.”

I’m hoping that we can let the bad plays of the past fade, and instead look ahead, step to the plate, and try again to hit a parenting home run.

Phillipians 3:13-14

I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,  I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

Epilogue

Jackson’s team eventually made it through the playoffs and ended up winning the championship game.  Jackson also hit two more home runs, with one of those in the championship game.