This Valentine’s Day I had dinner with another woman, but first let me tell you something about myself.
Why Always Me?
I don’t know what it is about me, but there is a strange phenomena that has happened to me ever since high school. Randomly, on the street or while driving around, or at the mall, or anywhere I will have people walk up to me and ask me for something. Typically it is for directions, but every once in a while it for something different. This past Valentine’s Day it was quite different as you will read later.
Here’s what I don’t understand, and maybe you can help me out. Out of the hundreds of people who may be walking around me or even those who are walking with me, I seem to be the one that is singled out. In college I could be walking to class with a friend or a group of friends, and I would always be the one who was stopped. I’ve had people go out of their way and cross a street to come over and talk with me.
I’m not even that great at directions, or at least at giving directions. Thankfully nowadays I can pull up google maps on my phone and give them step by step instructions, but things haven’t always been that easy. Sometimes the conversation wasn’t even in English, but that didn’t seem to matter.
Cornered in a Phone Booth
One day, while I lived in Budapest, I decided that I would go down to the phone booth and call my girlfriend at the time. I had a mobile phone, but calling internationally was WAY more than I could afford, so a pay phone and calling card would be my mode of communication. Because of the time difference, I try and make the phone call late at night Budapest time.
Read about another one of my Budapest adventures here. The Long Road To Budapest
The street lights were on and the night was cool. It was fall and crisp air meant that I would need a jacket. The street fairly noisy as it was a fairly busy thoroughfare and the phone booth was right next to the road. Thankfully this phone booth was a full booth with 3 glass walls and a glass hinged door.
Opening the phone booth with my phone card in hand, I made my phone call, but was unsuccessful in reaching my girlfriend. I had made my way all the way downstairs and down the block to the corner where the phone booth was, so I decided that I would at least try someone else and talk. I called my friend, Charlie. We talked about nothing really, when out of the corner of my eye I see a woman coming toward the phone booth.
A strange woman
As I am still talking with Charlie, she opens the door and steps into the phone booth with me. There’s room for two people in the phone booth, but really it’s for two people who know each other and not really enough room for two total strangers. She starts talking to me in Hungarian, and since I had maybe only been in the country for a month or two, I knew exactly zero of what she was saying. Well, whatever she was saying, she was saying it frantically. I told Charlie that I had to go because this woman clearly needed the phone more than I did.
I hung up and motioned towards the now available phone. She stared at me funny and then more frantically talked more Hungarian to me and then made a move toward her purse. “Please don’t pull out a knife or a gun,” I thought to myself. She rifled around for a bit and then frustrated, began motioning with her hands down the street. I motioned to get out of the booth as it should be clear to her that I didn’t speak her language, but she would not let me leave.
Finally, in a sudden move, she flung open the phone booth door and walked down the street. I thought for a moment that maybe she was in trouble. So I sort of followed her a bit down the street at a distance to make sure she was OK. No one else was following or chasing after her. She then turned a corner and was gone.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHY!
An Unplanned Trip To The Bank
These types of events have continued even on into marriage. Kristin and I were driving somewhere one day. We were near our apartment, but I can’t remember if we were coming or going, but I guess that’s not relevant. What is relevant is that while we were driving, not at a red light or stop sign, an Indian man rushed over to our car to stop us in the middle of the road. I stopped and rolled down my window, again, in the middle of the road. “I need to get to the bank before it closes. Will you drive me there?”
What?! What an odd request! Kristin and I looked at each other like, is this seriously happening. And with a shrug of the shoulders and an unlocking of the doors, we invited the man into our car and changed direction. Now instead of going wherever it was we were going before, now we were going to the bank.
The man got out of our car and thanked us, and then that was it. We went to our destination and the man went inside the bank. I hope he didn’t rob it, making us accessories to his crime. Probably not. Probably just a deposit.
I know why he stopped us, but then again, WHY?
My Valentine’s Day Dinner
I lead high school seniors at my church, 12 Stone, every Wednesday night. This year Valentine’s Day fell on a Wednesday. Most everything was normal, except that I stayed a little later than normal talking with students and then talking with other leaders. It was getting late so I said headed to my car. I pulled out of the church parking lot and immediately a car came flying up behind me with it’s headlights flashing and horn honking repeatedly.
I pulled to the middle turn lane and the car pulled up next me. A woman rolled the window down and I rolled down mine. I couldn’t quite make out the first things she said because she seemed upset and then I heard her say that she was having the worst Valentine’s Day ever. She went on to tell me that she had caught her husband cheating on her and had left the house in a rush. She didn’t have any money on her and hadn’t eaten and needed a place to stay.
Chik-fil-a dinner
Because we were in the middle of the road, I said, “There’s a Chikfila right here, let me buy you dinner.” She said OK and we pulled into Chikfila. We walked in and stood in line and we talked. She said that she wasn’t able to get help from the church until the next day, and her sister wasn’t coming to pick her up until tomorrow as well. She was clearly upset, but she quoted a lot of bible verses to calm herself down.
We got her food and she was ready to walk out to the parking lot and I stopped her and said, “Why don’t we sit here and just chat for a bit.” She was still upset and I thought it might be nice for her just to have someone to talk with at this moment.
I let her share her story. Now, I’m not that great at showing empathy or having a lot of compassion, but I tried my best. I tried to encourage her first by not papering over what just happened with some hollow words but rather acknowledging that what happened really sucked and that it was bad. It was OK to let a bad thing be a bad thing for that moment. After that though, I encouraged her with hope that it won’t always suck this bad and to reach out to those that might be able to help her. I left her with some marriage resources and contacts that she could call for help.
She finished her meal and thanked me. I prayed for her and then we walked out to our cars and drove our separate ways.
Sometimes why is just because. Thankfully, Kristin and i had celebrated Valentine’s Day the night before.
You have always been a great listener!!
Thanks for that encouragement, Ashley!