How Embarrassing!
Middle School
Everyone has to go through an embarrassing school story, and everyone seems to hate it. I hated it as well. At the time, I don’t think I hated it as much as I did later in life, but now it doesn’t seem to bother me so much.
Everybody loves embarrassing school stories, so here is mine. I attended Lamar Middle School in Flower Mound, TX. We were the Longhorns.
I was in 7th grade. Puberty took way too long for me, so I was still mostly a kid while I was in middle school. Every year I would check to see if I had any armpit hair so I wouldn’t be made fun of in gym class. Still none, so I guess I gotta keep hiding.
So most of middle school I hid. Not just because of the armpit hair thing, but because of my overall insecurities. I was short and small. I had the craziest, wonkiest teeth that took more than 4 years to fix. And I shellacked my hair with so much LA Looks hair gel, it would have withstood a nuclear blast. Oh, I also had the side spike going on. And then there were the clothes.
Z-Cavaricci, Hyper Color, Cardigans and Tight Rolls
What. Were. We. Thinking?! Ok, so the Z-Cavs were outrageous, both in price and in design. Check out these Z-Cav jeans on Like Totally 80s.
High waisted, overlapping, multiple buttons, flair out, taper in. And then we would tight roll them. Roll them up once, fold until they were mega tight around the leg, and then roll up one or two more times. I always wondered what happened to Z Cavaricci.
And then of course you could either pair this with a hyper color shirt for that casual look, or with a cardigan for that dressed up middle school cool look. Smithsonian.com shows us how cool you could look in a hyper color shirt.
Stacy White
Ok, so I really, REALLY hope that Stacy never reads my blog, because I was TOTALLY infatuated with Stacy. If the clothes were not embarrassing enough, this moment in middle school would surely take the cake. Stacy lived in my neighborhood, and was in several of my classes. She was 5’2″, long blond hair, smelled of daisies and sunshine, and probably never knew who I was. I was bad looking, awkward, 4’8″, and I probably smelled like B.O. and Cheetos.
The School Dance
My friend, Ryan, and I arrive to the school dance after a wonderful night out at the Olive Garden with a group of friends. We are stylin’ and profilin’ in our Z-Cavs and cardigans. Uh oh, is that Bust A Move? Time to bust out “The Running Man” or if we got crazy, we would do the “Roger Rabbit”. That’s basically all of the dance moves I knew at the time, but it would have to do.
We danced in a circle, until the slow song. It could have been Eternal Flame by the Bangles or Girl I’m Gonna Miss You by Milli Vanilli, but that’s not important right now. What is important was THIS was the night. This was the night i would ask Stacy to slow dance with me.
But I can’t! No Way! She doesn’t even know who I am. I am some stranger, a troll creature, approaching this princess, she could only say no. Ryan, encouraged me. “You can do it! Go ask her, I know she will dance with you.”
The Ask
It took about an eternity and I finally worked up the courage. I walked about 4 miles from one end of the dance floor to the other. It was just like in the movies, where the dance floor opens up and the spot light shines on her sparkly dress.
This was my moment, my dream come true, my stepping stone to manhood! “Stacy?” I said. “Oh, hi.” she responded, angelically.” Uh oh, what’s happening? Where’s my nerve? My courage, my courage, where did you go? Not now, please not now! “Stacy, my friend Ryan wants to dance with you.”
My heart sunk as I slumped my shoulders, dragged my feet, and trekked the 4 miles back across the dance floor. I had defeated myself before she even got the chance to. “What happened?” asked Ryan. “I told her that you wanted to dance with her.” I was totally embarrassed. And so I sat on the bleachers in the gym and watched as my friend, Ryan, went over and slow danced with Stacy White.
From that moment on, I have no memories of Stacy. Maybe she still lived in my neighborhood.
Maybe she still went to my school. I don’t think I could ever bring myself to ever see her again. It was my most embarrassing school moment ever.
Want to hear more embarrassing school stories?
https://www.buzzfeed.com/niaalavezos/high-school-sucks
Your Most Embarrassing Moment
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